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There is a noticeable change when a big storm is swirling around nearby – something inside comes alive in a way that can be a little bit Much, even for me. Time is a little malleable, and everything feels a little easier, a little smoother, a little more effortless. Only, the energy outlasts my body’s ability to handle it – these storms are bigger than I am, and in perspective, I’m just a small part of the planetary body that generated these storms, so of course they’ll be more than me. Duh. 

I am learning to roll with it, and then ground as much as possible. To some of you, this will sound crazy, but I dunno, the more I read about Biocentric Design, astrophysics, and quantum mechanics (shush, we all need hobbies) the less anything sounds crazy. I mean, we made it all up anyway, everything, and what we accept as fact and truth is just what we have enough data to support and not enough data to disprove. You go read about butterflies avoiding mountains that no longer exist, and then come tell me it’s out of the realm of possible that a tropical storm shifts how I feel. The world is more than we can conceive of, any one of us alone. 

In other news, finished a painting, worked on another one, started a third, finished three pens, cleaned my desks, shipped orders, managed social media, wrote a poem, prepped five more pens for turning, took product photographs for the farm website, updated Patreon, talked with friends, paid the electric bill, and sorted the next week of tasks into my kanban framework on Miro for soap, pens, art, and life organization. 

You’d think, with all that, I would feel like I have my life together, but I still feel like a chaotic mess, and there’s still dried purple paint on my bathroom counters. I still feel too earnest, too honest, too open, too Much, still. It makes me who I am, but someday, I’d like to be exactly enough.

Photos of the new painting below – if you’d like to help make more paintings possible, hop on over to Patreon.