Sometimes
you just say fuck it.
Sometimes
you just let go.
Sometimes
it’s not worth the
song and dance
of heavy boots on your heart
each time and
every time
this twisting gut and
eggshells feeling
of disappointment
and heartache nausea,
of a million found excuses
and a hundred silent inquisitions
into what you did wrong
this time.
This time.
This time.
This time
it’s that time
to salvage what
shreds of self you have left
this time
it’s that time
to sew it together
with the threads of
what rage you can muster,
and wrap it around you
like a cloak against
the downpour of doubts;
doubts of
your own sanity
and perception and
sense of self,
all called into question
again
this time.
But this time,
don’t listen to the rain.
This time,
sometimes,
it’s time
to let go.

.