First off:
There’s a small handful of new Bebe pens in the shop, and the first wave of The Purple Drop is on the lathes currently. March means the quarterly Patreon pen sign up is open for Quarter Two, as well. If you’re not familiar with the Patreon Pens, it’s a limited edition exclusive cast I do for fun, and it goes on Patreon supporter’s choice of kit pen. (There’s three I enjoy turning still – the Fidget Ballpoint, the Mistral Fountain Pen, and the Artemis Fountain Pen.) Each pen has a tier, and the total price of the pen is spread out over the three months. The 2024 Q1 cast was Hard Candy, which you might have seen on social media.
The Retrograde design is still being a butt. I’m refining tools to make turning rollerballs more consistent – and faster. Saturns are getting a couple tweaks to threading, but there are still a few in the shop left. I’ve had a migraine for three days, but it’s finally at a point where OTC meds keep it manageable. It doesn’t matter how many years I’ve been getting these, they knock me for a loop every single time. I’m a bit behind where I’d like to be as a result of Retrograde challenges and the migraine, and I am more than a bit anxious about it – but I am catching up.
And off we go.
“All I really gotta do is live and die, but I’m in a hurry, and don’t know why.” -Alabama, ‘I’m In A Hurry’
There was a point in my life where I learned that if it wasn’t a Really Big Deal, I should keep it to myself to be polite. As the list of things too small to be Really Big Deals grew longer and longer, I became quieter and quieter, and kept more and more to myself. Not out of resentment or because I didn’t want to share – but out of consideration. I didn’t want to be a drain on the people I cared about by bringing my small things to them – even if they were good things. I kept my small discoveries, lessons, joys, and the small moments that, added up, became my life, to myself so the people I cared about wouldn’t have to bear the burden of having to find extra energy or time to try to care about my silly, small, unimportant things, especially when they had bigger, truly important things to care about.
Social media helped me start sharing the small things without the guilt of feeling like a burden. People didn’t have to pay attention to my posts! They could if they wanted to, but they didn’t have to – problem solved! I could talk about my small things and the people who had the energy, time, or shared an interest in them could talk with me about them! It was FANTASTIC. (It still is.) I don’t have to worry (usually) if what I’m sharing or posting is going to be a burden – we each decide when we have the extra to scroll or engage with each other.
However, I still slip back into those old patterns of keeping everything to myself when I’m struggling.
Predictably, I don’t expect anyone on social media to notice when I slip back into that pattern of invisible silence. Why would they notice when there is so much else going on to pay attention to that is so much more important? Yet, recently, when I had a rough run for a few weeks, a surprising number of people did notice. Hey, you haven’t posted a story in two days – what’s up? You haven’t written in a month – are you okay? I haven’t seen you do anything but work in weeks – how’s the garden going, are you eating okay, are you sleeping?
It turns out that people do like hearing about the small things. It turns out some of the small things aren’t actually small things when people care about you – they’re actually pretty big things.
More importantly, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from replies to these letters, it’s that, often, the things I once thought were small things that weren’t important enough for other people to care about can have a pretty big impact on other people. Feeling seen, feeling like we’re not alone in our mundane, daily humanity, and hearing how someone else wrestled with the same thing we do? Turns out that’s a pretty big deal.
I know it was to me.
When I started this newsletter, I would write weekly. As life got more challenging, I stepped farther and farther back from that frequency. Now, I’m usually reluctant to write at all, not wanting to take advantage of your inbox or time. However, having heard often recently that people miss these letters, and that they’re waiting for even small updates, I’ll try to trust you mean that you want to hear from me, and I’ll try write a little more often – even if I don’t have something those old patterns would consider Big Enough to write about. There’s beauty and power in the small moments that add up to become our lives, and they are worth looking at examining and sharing, too. (Also, as I was reminded, people check their email more than their social media, so please for the love of Pete and Bob, send emails for shop updates more often.)
I hear you – and thank you for giving me a space where my small things can be heard, as well. Also – thank you for sharing your small things with me on social media each day, or in emails or messages or texts. It might not seem important – but it is.
May your small things be treasured,
A.Markov
PS: Yes, the subject title is a song reference. Sorry for the earworm, but it’s stuck in my head now too, watching, waiting, commiserating.
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