#SnarkAhead: Sad Peach

So, I’m a member of a lot of soap groups, because it’s fascinating watching other people. I’m weird, what can I say. 

Well, once upon a soap group post, someone was talking about peach fragrance oils. Best, favorite, etc. Now, usually, I don’t give much weight to recommendations – I tend to give more weight to negative reviews on websites – but a good peach is very hard to find, so I read with curiosity and noted the most popular of the bunch.

Fast forward to this last week, picking the samples that just came in. I spotted a dupe of that peach, and threw it in the cart. Fast forward again to today, me happily sniffing the fragrance oil samplers that came in, including duplicates from no less than four companies, including discontinued perfumes/colognes that I love. Every single one is SPOT ON for the original, some of which I actually have on hand to compare with.

That’s when I get to the peach.

Y’all. Y’ALL. Oh, lordy, y’all.

It smells like someone ate a can of cold Spaghetti-o’s with canned peaches & maraschino cherries for dessert, and vomited the lot of it all back up. The only way this could get worse is if they added that berry-NyQuil scent to it.

I even put it on a blotter, thinking maybe letting it breathe would help. IT GOT WORSE. It now smells like something akin to a nasty-numbing-cold-Novocaine-drool-dentist-office-with-peach-cherry-air-freshener-with-nearly-numb-cold-fingers-and-FEAR sensation.

I am NOT blaming the new company – they just copied exactly the original. I have proof they can copy a fragrance down to the last notes. They are GOOD.

But oh, god, y’all. Whoever thought that this is Peach must have never really smelled a genuine peach, with it’s warm syrupy sweetness and that touch of green-freshnesss. That touch of soft fuzz with the heavenly taste of gold-and-citrine-made-edible on your tongue.

Maybe I’m just a fragrance snob. Maybe this is why I have more unused samples that will never see the light of day than anyone in their right mind would have. But this, THIS, is the last-spritz-of-an-air-freshener-in-a-derelict-and-long-abandoned-gas-station version of Peach. This is Sad Peach, decomposing-Peach-in-Bowser’s-Castle-because-Mario-went-into-Wall-Street-Hedge-Fund-Management-instead-of-Plumbing Peach.

And it’s the most highly recommended peach out there in a massive group.

And that right there tells you everything you need to know about advice you get from general groups, namely: that the people willing to give advice freely usually can afford to.

Disclaimer: I realize every nose is literally different. As I said to a friend, when she wondered how someone would actually use something that smelled that way: 

Sooo, interesting tidbit - everyone's nose is different. Everyone likes different stuff, but also, not everyone can smell everything. Some people (a large percentage) literally do not have the nose requirements to smell musk, for example. Their nose doesn't have the receptors that smell it, or something along those lines. So, it stands to reason that musk wouldn't be the only one. Kinda like The Great Cilantro Debate, or how some people can taste the bitter component in broccoli and lots CAN'T. Our sniffers are all different too. Not just in preference, but in ability, structure, receptors, the works. It's fascinating.

So it may very well be that they aren't stupid, but that their nose picks up on different parts, or I have a nose that can pick out the molecules that register/smell like bile and tomato.

And that's probably why this FO is so damn popular but I can't stand it - I'm just sensitive to those components. 

And this is why there are so many of the same kinds of things:  because, you know, reality really is subjective. 

Even for noses.

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Abigail Markov